What to Say to Kids When the News Is Scary
My heart feels heavy as I sit with the news of the Bondi shootings this past Sunday.
It's unfathomable that something like this could happen here in Australia… and yet it has.
So many of us are processing this in our own ways.
Some are focused on the victims and families.
Some are focused on the shooters.
Some are in action - donating blood, checking in on family, friends and community.
Some are trying to explain it to their children.
Some are simply feeling numb, oscillating between sadness, disbelief, fear, and overwhelm.
There’s no one right way to process an event like this.
Whether it's tragedy like this, or holiday season burnout, or a child’s behaviour that pushes every button... the only way through it is to pause and ask:
How is this affecting me?
How is it impacting my nervous system… my emotions… my energy?
Because when we notice how an event is landing in us... and we meet it with awareness and compassion...we create space to heal. And that’s the exact space our children need from us too.
The most common question I get in moments like these is,“Should I tell my child?”
And while there’s no perfect rule or age cutoff, here’s what I want you to know:
Children are energetic beings.
Even if they haven’t heard the news, they’re likely picking up on your tone, your body language, the sadness in your eyes, or the shift in routine. It’s actually more unsettling for a child to sense something is wrong and not have anyone help them make sense of it.
So the real question is:
How can I meet them where they’re at...with honesty, reassurance, and emotional safety?
Here’s how that might look at different ages:
Toddlers & preschoolers
If they notice you’re upset, you might say:
“A bad thing happened. A person hurt a lot of people and I’m feeling sad about it. But you’re safe, and I’m here.”
Keep it simple. What they need most is your calm presence.
Primary-aged children (5–9)
They’ve likely heard something from the playground, a teacher, or even overheard adult conversation. You could begin with:
“Have you heard about the shooting that happened in Bondi?”
If they say yes, ask them what they’ve heard. If they say no:
“Somebody who had a gun started shooting at a group of people. It was very sad. The people with the guns have been caught, and you’re safe. My job is to always keep you safe. Do you have any questions?”
Answer gently and honestly, without giving graphic details. Let their questions guide the depth of the conversation.
Tweens & teens
They’ve probably seen the footage or discussed it in group chats. You might say:
“Hey, have you heard what happened in Bondi?”
“What are your friends saying about it?”
“How are you feeling about it?”
Let them speak. Really speak. Try not to interrupt, reassure too quickly, or fix. Be curious, open, and present.
Remind them
“It’s totally normal to feel confused, scared, angry, or worried when something like this happens. I’m here if you want to talk about it... now or later.”
When you hold space like this, your child learns something profound:
That they don’t have to process things alone. That their emotions are valid. That you're someone they can come to.
Let them feel safe in your presence...even if you don’t have the answers.
We don’t have to explain every detail.
We don’t have to pretend to be unaffected.
But we can let our children see us regulating our own emotions, which teaches them how to do the same.
This is how we raise children who feel safe to feel.
This is how we raise children who trust us, and themselves, even in uncertain times.
Today, I send love to every person affected by the Bondi tragedy.
To the victims. The families. The first responders. The community.
And to you, if your heart feels heavy too.
Let’s keep showing up with softness and strength, for ourselves and for our children.
P.S. If you or anyone you know needs help:
Book in a call with me
Lifeline on 13 11 14
Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800
Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467
Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636
Headspace on 1800 650 890
ReachOut at au.reachout.com
