What was really happening was I’d never learned how to bounce back from adversity. I had extremely low self-esteem and my perfectionism ran so deep that if I did something wrong, I couldn’t forgive myself.

Learning that how I parent was not my fault but 100% my responsibility was both empowering and terrifying in equal parts.

Some things got shoved under our bed and in cupboards that I hoped and prayed no one would open, because if they did they’d discover that I’m not perfect after all.

I frequently get asked what age is your parent program for?

One leadership skill is listening. Listening in a way that a child feels heard and understood is transformative to your child hearing you and your requests and building trust and connection in your relationship.

I don’t have to have it all figured out. I don’t have to have all the answers. I need to be ready to ask questions that will help us move forward, like What can I learn here? What can I do better? And learn and grow from there.

Often as parents we feel like we should just KNOW what to do. The truth is we’re figuring it out as we go. Every new stage with our child brings new learnings.

When children give themselves permission to be themselves, they no longer need to pretend to be something or someone else. They no longer need to prove who they are to the world or us as their parents.

All my norms were challenged - the way I ate, the way I slept, my personal hygiene (every parent knows kid-free showers are like gold dust in the early days!). Not to mention the way I could work and go out afterwards (without a ton of nappies and paraphernalia weighing me down!).

When a child first says something that we know is not true, we have the opportunity to shape how they label that behaviour. So for example, instead of labelling the behaviour as “lying” we can say they are “testing boundaries” or “being creative with their words”

If you find yourself repeating yourself over and over and your child still doesn’t listen. And you’ve tried various different strategies and they work sometimes but not at other times.

Or you find you get an emotional outburst when you ask your child to come for dinner or come off a screen.

Then read on because this is for you.

You’ve asked your child to do something and they still haven’t moved. You’ve tried to be polite, you’ve stayed calm and you’re feeling proud of how you’ve kept it together..until..