Why I Don’t Care About Grades — And What I Focus On Instead

Tonight, my son is exhibiting his final year visual arts film project.

He received the highest mark in his year: 100%.

His teacher told us she couldn’t recall ever giving a mark like that before.

But here’s the thing...

His academic results were never the goal.

I knew from the time he was four that the traditional school system wasn’t going to validate him.

He was emotionally intuitive, wildly creative, a natural leader — but not the type of child who would be recognised with merit awards or academic ribbons.

So I made a decision.
If school wasn’t going to see him for who he was... then home had to.

My job became clear: validate his natural gifts here. At home. With us.

So when he was accepted into a performing arts school, we didn’t hesitate.
We packed up and moved across the city.
Here was a chance for him to be recognised for the real him...
Not the “sit still and get it right” version. The expressive, visionary, heart-centred version.

And we ran toward it.

My other son? He’s more traditionally academic.
He thrives at maths and science.
He was always going to be celebrated in the current education system — and that’s beautiful too.

But I wasn’t.

I wasn’t validated by school.
I got average marks. I felt average.
And I carried that belief into adulthood — until I started the long process of unlearning it.

15 years of healing and reclaiming my voice.
15 years of shedding the armour I wore to survive a system that never saw me. And parents that didn't have the skills to help me feel seen, heard and understood at home.

So I promised myself...

My kids won’t have to spend their adult lives healing from their childhoods.

They will know they’re enough.

They will feel seen, heard, and deeply known in our family — regardless of what the world says.

This has been my focus for 14 years.

Parenting for the long game.

There were no award ceremonies on stage for my son in primary school.
No glowing report cards.
Plenty of playground incidents where his sensitivity — his tears, his overwhelm, his anger — were mocked or misunderstood.
He was even bullied a couple of times.

But I stayed steady.

Because I knew: his sensitivity is not a flaw — it’s a strength that hasn’t yet found the right context.

And so we laid down bricks.
Brick by brick...
Validation, presence, emotional attunement, self-belief.
Over and over again.

And now?

Those very traits — his empathy, his creativity, his ability to channel emotion into meaningful work — are being witnessed, celebrated, and graded.


The grade is just a byproduct.

The real win is this: he is being validated for being himself — outside of our home.

I don’t believe anyone is average.

I believe everyone is gifted at something.

But whether or not those gifts surface depends on this:

Were you in an environment that recognised and reflected back your light?

Or did you learn to hide it — just to fit in, survive, or gain approval?

This is why I parent the way I do.
Why I teach the way I do.

Because the goal of parenting is simple... but not easy.

To raise a child who doesn’t feel they need to change who they are in order to be loved.

A child who knows:

• I’m enough as I am.

• I have something to contribute.

• I can carry myself through this world.
  
  When those beliefs take root?
  The rest — the grades, the resilience, the self-leadership — falls into place.
  
  And for me, it’s not enough for just our family to thrive.
  
  I want your family to thrive too.
  
  To raise kids who stay connected to their true selves...
  To make choices not based on pressure, but on purpose...
  To be so anchored in your long game that the short game — the mornings, the meltdowns, the maths homework — becomes lighter, easier, more joyful.
  
  That’s what I want for you.
  
  So tonight, wish my son luck.
  Though truthfully...
  I’ll be proud of him no matter what.
  
  Because the real success?
  Is that he’s proud of himself.
  
  P.S. Want to parent with this kind of clarity and confidence — even when the school system doesn’t see your child’s gifts?
  
  Inside the Stressed to Best Parent Method, I’ll guide you step-by-step through the mindset shifts, emotional tools, and communication strategies that help you raise a child who feels deeply seen, valued, and safe to be themselves.
  
  You’ll learn how to:

• Build unshakable connection and trust

• Support your child’s confidence — even when the world misunderstands them

• Shift from daily power struggles to long-term leadership

• And become the calm, clear leader your child actually wants to follow
  
  Because when your child feels safe to be themselves at home...
  They build the resilience to carry that into the world.
  
  Learn more about Stressed to Best Parent Method here