Why Parental Self-Care Is More Than Bubble Baths
We’ve all heard it before:
“You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
“Look after yourself first.”
“Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.”
And while this advice is absolutely true, for most parents, it’s anything but easy.
Why Is It So Hard to Put Yourself First?
On paper, self-care sounds straightforward. But in reality?
Where in the world do you find the time?
When you do find the time, how do you muster up the energy?
And if you manage both, how do you keep it going regularly—without guilt?
It’s not just about balanced meals or fitting in a workout.
It’s about how you treat your mind.
How you value your own needs.
Is it healthy to think...
“Everyone else’s needs come first”?
“My health doesn’t matter as much—I’ll skip that doctor’s appointment again”?
“As long as the kids get to their activities, my exhaustion can wait”?
“My partner needs rest, but I don’t have time for that”?
I used to think all of those things.
I was the mum who gave everything to everyone—always last in line for my own care.
And it had nothing to do with the people around me...
It had everything to do with how my mind was wired.
The Programming You Didn’t Know You Had
“Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man.”
— Aristotle
Our mindset is mostly formed by the age of seven.
My inner programming said that if I wasn’t helping—or seen to be helping—I was lazy, unworthy, or selfish.
So, I became the one who showed up, no matter how sick, exhausted, or stretched thin I was.
I would say yes even when my body begged for rest.
I would miss time with my own family, just to “do one more thing.”
But here’s what I know now:
You can be there for your children... by being there for yourself first.
That’s not selfish. That’s leadership.
Modelling Balance
I’ve learned to slow down.
To rest.
To say no.
And I’ve watched my children start to do the same.
I’ve seen them take reading breaks...
Lie down when they’re tired...
Choose stillness when everyone else is rushing.
Not because I told them to—but because they saw me do it first.
What’s good for you is good for them.
And what’s bad for you? It often becomes their template for how to treat themselves.
The Beliefs That Need Challenging
If you’ve been putting yourself last, ask yourself:
What beliefs am I modelling?
Where did these beliefs come from?
Are they true—or just familiar?
Because when you begin to challenge those old mindsets, you open a door.
Not just for your own wellbeing, but for your children’s too.
Ready to rewire your mindset and model something different?
Inside the Stressed to Best Parent method we dive deep into the unconscious beliefs that shape your parenting—and how to shift them so both you and your kids thrive.
