Why I Said No to School Volunteering (and You Can Too)

My son graduates from primary school this year. It’s an exciting time—he’s soaking up the joy of the friendships he’s built over the past seven years and looking ahead to the next chapter of high school.

So when the school put out a call for help with the graduation events, I raised my hand and said:

“Hi, I’m happy to help.
Some of the things I can help with are:
• Capturing emotions in photos or words
• Organising people
• Rallying kids!

Not so great at:
• Graphic design
• Detailed planning/project management

Let me know how I can contribute.
Cheers,
Dina”

This morning, a request came through to create a video for the event. I replied:

“Hi,
I can do photo compilations. Video is another skill level—better suited to someone else with more interest or experience than I have.
Let me know how I can help with other bits and pieces.
Thanks,
Dina”

Did That Response Trigger Something in You?

Did you think “Oh... she’s being a bit picky”?

A few years ago, I would’ve had the same reaction—to myself. I would have worried I wasn’t doing enough. That I’d let someone down. That saying no made me less helpful... or less worthy.

Why Saying No Matters

In my Stressed to Best Parent Methos, we talk about the importance of Optimising Your Energy.

If you don’t take the lead in where your energy goes, someone—or something—else will.
Not out of malice or bad intentions, but simply because the stronger command always wins.

And for many years, I wasn’t the one in command of my energy.

• I hadn’t taken the time to truly know myself.

• I worried what others thought of me.

• I tied my worth to my willingness to say yes.

Which meant my energy went everywhere... except where I truly wanted and needed it—into my kids, my partner, my dreams, and my wellbeing.

“You can influence, direct and control your own environment. You can make your life what you want it to be.”
— Napoleon Hill

Saying Yes to What Fuels You

I do contribute to my children’s school. Just not in ways that drain me.

I’ve:

• Run leadership sessions for teachers

• Motivation-coached my son’s soccer team

• Volunteered in kitchen classes

• Helped at school in ways that align with my strengths and spark joy

I’m not a sewer. Not a crafty person. Not a yoga teacher.
But I am someone who can inspire, energise, and connect.
And when I give from that place, it doesn’t feel like giving—it feels like living.

Are You Saying Yes from a Full Cup—or from Obligation?

It’s worth reflecting on:

• Are your “yeses” aligned with your strengths and what lights you up?

• Or are they rooted in fear, guilt, or people-pleasing?

Because your energy is your most valuable resource.

When you protect it, you model that for your children. You show them that giving doesn’t mean abandoning yourself—and that contribution can come in many forms.

Want to Discover What Energises You?

Join me in the Stressed to Best Parent method
It will help you identify what fuels you—and what drains you—so you can parent and live from a place of clarity, confidence and calm.