Choosing Relationships That Reflect Your Values as a Parent
When I was a young adult... and even well into my thirties... I often found myself hanging out with the “in” crowd. They were the people I ended up with by default, not by conscious choice.
It wasn’t that I didn’t connect with them at all... I did, on some level. But over time, I began to notice that I didn’t like who I was becoming when I was with them. And more than that... it was draining my energy.
I would:
Complain about my children more
Bag out my husband and be overly critical of his actions
Talk myself down and make fun of myself
These were mostly subtle behaviours... but they chipped away at how I felt about myself and the people I loved.
There was always something to complain about, until I realised this powerful truth: time and energy spent complaining is time and energy that could be spent celebrating.
Celebrating what is working and feeling grateful what I did have. Focusing there instead.
Jim Rohn famously said:
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
That quote hit me hard. It called me into reflection and action.
I started to make more conscious choices about who I spent time with. At first, it was incredibly difficult... and honestly, lonely. There were times I felt guilty, like I was being selfish for stepping away from friendships that didn’t feel good anymore.
But over time, those decisions opened up space.
Space for new relationships that reflected who I was becoming.
People who aligned with my values. People who energised me, rather than drained me.
And today, I’m so grateful I listened to that quiet voice inside... because the shift in how I feel, parent, and show up in my life has been profound.
I want my children to grow up knowing their values... and choosing relationships that reflect those values. But I know that starts with me.
If I want them to be discerning about who they let close, I need to model what that looks like.
And if I want them to live from their values, I need to live from mine.
Understanding your values... and living by them... is Level 4 on the Parent as Leader Scale. It’s where we stop living by default and start parenting by design.
So... who do you choose to spend your time with?
Are your closest relationships uplifting, aligned, and supportive of who you want to be?
Choose wisely. Your energy matters. Your children are watching.
Ready to parent with more clarity and confidence? Take the free Parenting Style quiz and discover your strengths and next growth step. This guide helps you clarify where you're leading well... and where small shifts can create big changes in your family.
