What Happens When You Stop Competing and Start Parenting Authentically

Parenting can feel like a competitive arena. Whether it’s about which extracurriculars your child is doing or where you're heading for winter holidays, comparisons are everywhere. Some are loud and obvious. Others are subtle... but still leave you feeling like you’re not doing enough.

Here are 6 powerful reasons to stop comparing — for your sake and your child’s:

1. Wanting to be the best isn’t always best for you

Some people chase “the best” at the cost of health, peace, and connection. This kind of striving usually comes from a need to prove something — to feel worthy. But real fulfilment and long-term mental wellbeing come when we do things from choice, not pressure. And children thrive when they don’t feel like they have to earn our approval through performance.

2. Comparison is limiting

What if the person you’re comparing yourself to has reached their ceiling... and your potential goes far beyond it? When you run your own race and aim to grow beyond your personal best each time, you build belief in your own unlimited potential — and your child learns to do the same.

3. It stops you from playing your own game

A painter may not have ball skills. A mathematician may not be a natural dancer. A debater may not lead with empathy. We’re not meant to be good at the same things. What lights you up? What lights your child up? Follow that. Fulfilment comes when we honour our own design — not when we try to copy someone else’s.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt

4. You end up doing things that aren’t important

There’s no “right” way to live your life. But if you don’t pause to reflect on your real values, you might fill your days with things that don’t matter. Maybe you’ve slowed your career to spend time with your kids — that’s great. Maybe you’re going full-speed to show them what’s possible — that’s great too. The point is... choose based on what you value. Your heart knows the way.

5. The crowd may not be your people

We are deeply influenced by the people around us. In Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Robert Cialdini describes “social proof” — the idea that we decide how to act based on others. That’s why it’s so important to choose your community intentionally.

Find people who reflect your parenting values. People who speak to their kids the way you want to. People who are kind, curious, present. When you find your people, it’s easier to be yourself — and your child learns to do the same.

6. It distances you from who you are

When you spend time in environments that aren’t aligned with who you are, you slowly drift away from your true self. That’s why self-connection is so important.

What do you believe in? What do you want your life and parenting to look like? What are your boundaries?

You know when something feels off. Tune in. Trust yourself. The more you do this, the easier it becomes. And the more you model it, the more your child learns to listen to their own inner compass too.

If you’re ready to stop comparing and start trusting yourself as a parent, explore the Stressed to Best Parent Method today.