How to Create a More Balanced Home Life When Both Parents Work
The concept of mental load gained traction thanks to French cartoonist Emma, whose comic perfectly captures the invisible work many parents do.
In one scene, she shows a mum preparing dinner for a friend while also ensuring her kids are eating… coaxing them between bites… trying to stay present in conversation… while the pot on the stove boils over and needs cleaning. You get the picture…
And that’s just one dinner.
Now add to that the ongoing mental checklist for one child: their hopes and dreams, their manners, hygiene, emotional wellbeing, balanced routines, and favourite foods… plus pickups and drop-offs, quality time with grandparents, confidence, friendships, and tricky playground dynamics. Multiply that by more children… and the mental load expands exponentially.
Contrary to common assumptions, it’s not only mothers who feel the burden. It’s typically the main carer—whoever that is. But in modern families where both parents work and both share caregiving, this creates new tensions.
Yet the data is clear. In most households, women are still doing the lion’s share. Australian census data shows that women spend, on average, 5 to 14 hours per week on unpaid domestic work… while men spend fewer than 5. Women also spend an extra hour per day caring for children.
So how do we actually shift the imbalance?
It starts with our unconscious beliefs.
For generations, the norm was: Dad works, Mum stays home. Even in dual-income homes today, these roles still echo in how responsibilities are assigned. I see it all the time—high-achieving women with businesses or leadership roles who are still doing most of the household planning, emotional labour, and mental management.
To start shifting this, we need to get honest. Ask yourself:
Do I take on a lot at home and then resent my partner for not helping more?
Do I feel like things must be done my way to be done properly?
Do I unconsciously assume some things “aren’t my domain”?
Each of these is a clue that bias is still running the show.
Once these beliefs are named, you can move into shared agreement. Conscious delegation isn’t about assigning chores—it’s about restructuring family life in a way that values everyone’s time, energy, and presence.
This is the beginning of true partnership at home.
Feeling the weight of the mental load and ready to create a more equal home life? Explore the Stressed to Best Parent Method and take the first step toward conscious co-parenting.