Parent Teacher Night… And Why I’m Not Okay With It

Last night I went to my son’s parent teacher night.

He’s in Year 12.

The advice was simple. Do more practice questions, get better marks, maximise your ATAR.

All normal.

But something didn’t sit right.


Earlier that week, my son told us he’s dropping software engineering.
Not because he doesn’t like it.
Because he loves it. He’s good at it. He enjoys it.


He’s dropping it because it doesn’t “count enough”. It doesn’t help his score as much as his other subjects. So keeping it makes things harder.

Let that sink in.

He’s dropping something he loves… to get a better number.
And everyone just accepts that.


Even his teacher said it would be a shame, but he understands.
But I don’t.

Because what are we teaching our kids?


We say, do what you love. Be yourself. Find your strengths.
But then we show them something different.
Only if it helps you win.


So they learn…
What you love doesn’t matter as much as what gets rewarded.
Who you are comes second to how you perform.
Follow the rules, even if it costs you.


And this is where it starts.
Not when they’re adults. Now.


We are preparing our kids for a world that is changing fast.
AI is changing jobs. The way we work is changing. There isn’t one clear path anymore.

The kids who will do well won’t just be the ones who get good marks.

They’ll be the ones who can think, create, adapt and trust themselves.

But instead, we’re teaching them to follow. To optimise. To ignore what they love if it doesn’t “count”.

And as a parent, this is where it gets hard.
Because I get it.
I want him to get into the course he wants. I understand the system.
But I can also see the cost.

So this is the question I’m sitting with.
How do I help my child succeed… without losing himself?

Because that’s the real job.

Not just helping them get good results.
Helping them stay connected to who they are.
Because if they lose that now, it’s really hard to get it back later.

And this doesn’t just happen in Year 12.

It starts at home.
“Hurry up.”
“Do it properly.”
“That’s not right.”

We think we’re helping.

But what they hear is something else.
Be different. Be better. Be what I need you to be.
And slowly, they stop trusting themselves.


Here’s the truth I can’t ignore.
If success costs them who they are, it’s not success.

The future won’t belong to the kids who followed the rules perfectly.
It will belong to the ones who know who they are and trust that.


And that’s what I care about.
Not just what my son achieves.
But who he is while he’s achieving it.


P.S. You can’t control the system your child grows up in.
But you can help them stay connected to who they are inside it.
And that changes everything. Stressed to Best Parent Method.