How to Release Guilt and Be Present With Your Children

"Darling, I can’t read to you tonight... I have to work."

These are the words that stab the heart of a parent when they’re said to a child.

It’s bearable when these moments are rare. But when they become regular, the weight of them deepens…and so does the guilt.

Sharon is a client and a mum to three children. She’s also a leader in her organisation, and her role often requires work outside of standard hours. She does her best to minimise the impact on her family time, but lately it’s become harder and harder to balance.

Sharon loves her work. It's part of who she is. She also loves being a mother. And she’s proud that her children get to see her making an impact and pursuing her goals.

But even with that clarity, Sharon still feels guilt... and she’s not alone.

Research from the Work and Family Show, which surveyed 1,000 working or expectant parents, found that 81% of mothers returning to work felt guilty about doing so.

So what can Sharon — and other working parents — do when they're torn between two equally important roles?

Let’s start with this...

Guilt comes from internalised rules.

It arises when you feel you’re breaking one of those rules — when you’re not doing what you think you’re supposed to do.

These rules are usually hidden. You might have picked them up as a child, absorbed from your environment, your culture, or your own parents.

The real questions to ask are:

Who says you’re supposed to...?

If you knew what rule you were applying here, would you still choose to keep it?

When Sharon explored this with me, she uncovered a deeply held belief: “Mums should be at home.” Her own mother had stayed home, so this belief was never questioned — it just lived quietly in the background, shaping her inner world.

But when I asked Sharon whether she wanted to keep applying that belief to her life today, her answer was clear: No.

She knew that working made her a better mum. It energised her, gave her purpose, and modelled resilience and independence to her children. We worked together to reshape that belief and build a new one that aligned with her truth today.

As a result, when Sharon now says, “I can’t read to you tonight, I have to work”, there’s no inner battle. She’s congruent.

And that congruency — being at peace with her decision — allows her to be fully present with her children when she’s with them.

That’s the gift of releasing guilt.

It's not about doing everything. It’s about aligning with what matters most and letting go of the invisible rules that no longer serve you or your family.

Are you ready to let go of guilt and parent from a place of clarity and calm? Explore the Stressed to Best Parent Method to uncover the hidden beliefs shaping your inner dialogue and realign with what truly matters to you.