Unconscious Bias in Modern Parenting

Census data shows that Australian women spend, on average, 5 to 14 hours per week in unpaid domestic work, while men spend less than 5 hours. On top of this, women also spend an additional hour a day caring for children.

At an event I spoke at recently, a mum asked:
"I’m working full-time and so is my husband, yet I find I’m organising everything that needs to happen at home as well as managing my day job. My husband helps with pick-up and drop-off, and takes the kids to activities, but everything else seems to fall to me. We’ve come so far in equality... why are we still here?"

It’s a great question. And one I hear far too often.

When Outsourcing Isn’t Enough

To manage the overwhelm, many working parents turn to outsourcing — cleaning, ironing, meal kits, childcare, even admin support. While these solutions can ease pressure, they don’t address the root cause of imbalance in many households: unconscious bias.

Unconscious bias is an automatic process in the brain. It influences how we perceive roles and responsibilities — often based on how we were raised or what we saw modelled growing up. And it tends to go unchallenged.

What Are You Carrying That Was Never Yours?

Take Sharon, a client I worked with. She and her partner both worked full-time, but she was mentally managing almost every aspect of their household. When we dug deeper, Sharon shared that part of her still believed she shouldn’t be working outside the home — that her “real” job was to be the homemaker.

On the surface, she knew that wasn’t true. She loved her career, was confident leaving her children in good care, and had a partner willing to share the load. But that unconscious belief was quietly guiding her behaviour — making her take on more than her fair share without even realising it.

Once Sharon could see the belief for what it was, she had the conversations she needed to have with her partner. The result? A more balanced partnership — and an energy shift from exhausted to empowered.

Challenging Bias, Changing the Landscape

When both parents work, the domestic landscape needs to shift too. That shift starts with recognising the biases we carry and gently challenging them.

When we do this — as individuals and as couples — the family thrives. The emotional load lightens. The resentment softens. And the way forward feels more equal, more intentional, and more sustainable.

What unconscious belief might be holding you back from asking for more balance at home?

If this resonates, come and explore the Stressed to Best Parent Method and start a new kind of conversation at home.