I’m Highly Aware..And Still Get Triggered

I speak to so many parents every week.

And by the time they come to me, they’re already aware that something needs to change.

They know their behaviour wasn’t ideal in the moment.


They’ve already put themselves through the wringer...
Replaying the scenario on loop in their mind.
Wishing they’d said it differently.
Wondering why they reacted the way they did.
Beating themselves up...again.


But here’s what I know is true.


These are the most reflective, caring, emotionally intelligent parents I know.


Because even when things go off the rails, they’re asking the right questions:


What was going on for me in that moment?
What did I actually want to convey?
How could I lead better next time?


That willingness to ask... is the work.
That curiosity? That’s already being a great parent.


It’s not that they don’t care.
It’s that they care so much...and sometimes, their expectations haven’t caught up with their reality.


I often see a very high internal standard of who you think you should be.


And when you don’t meet that standard?
The self-criticism rushes in.


But here’s a reframe I want you to sit with:
You can’t evolve past your best if your standards are capped.


There’s a difference between accountability and perfectionism.
Between growth and shame.


If you’ve had a “not my best moment” recently, ask yourself:

What’s the frequency of this behaviour? Was this a one-off or a recurring pattern?
Am I enquiring about the impact? Am I open to feedback, even from my child?
Am I owning it? Not blaming my child, my partner, or the situation, but reflecting on my part?


If you’re answering yes to these, the problem isn’t your parenting.
It’s the unrealistic expectations you’re holding.


You will get triggered.
You will say things you regret.
You will have moments of disconnection.


That doesn’t make you a bad parent.
It makes you human.


The real work is to reduce the pressure.
Revisit the standards you set..many of which were formed in childhood.
And add compassion to your self-inquiry.


Because I can almost guarantee this:
You’re noticing what went wrong.
But you’re not fully seeing all the things you’ve done right.

And that’s what I want you to hold close today.

P.S. This is the heart of what we explore inside the Stressed to Best Parent Method.
Not perfect parenting, but parenting with presence, reflection, and deep self-leadership.

If you’re ready to go deeper, book a free call and let’s talk.