How to Let Go of Working Parent Guilt and Be Present With Your Kids

A Heartfelt Reminder for Working Parents Navigating Guilt

There are words we say as parents that quietly break our hearts...
“Darling, I can’t read to you tonight. I have to work.”

When it happens once in a while, it stings.
But when it starts happening more often, the ache lingers.

This is what my client Sharon found herself saying to her three children more and more often. She holds a leadership role that often requires out-of-hours work, and while she does her best to protect her time with her children, the juggle has been feeling heavier lately.

The thing is... Sharon loves her work. She wouldn’t be her without it. Her career lights her up, allows her to contribute meaningfully, and shows her children what it looks like to chase big goals and make an impact. She wants them to witness that.

But even knowing all this — especially knowing all this — she still feels the weight of guilt.

And she’s not alone.

A UK study of 1,000 working and expectant parents found that 81% of mothers returning to work felt guilty about doing so.

So what do we do when we feel torn between the things that matter most?

Where Guilt Really Comes From

Guilt is often a clue... not a verdict.
It arises when we’re unconsciously breaking a “rule” we’ve been carrying — often one that’s been buried deep since childhood.

These inner rules tend to sound like:
Mums should always be there.
You’re supposed to be fully present with your kids at bedtime.
Good parents don’t choose work over their children.

But... who wrote these rules?

When Sharon and I unpacked this, she realised that one of her unspoken beliefs was:
“Mums should be at home.”

This wasn’t something she consciously chose. It was something she absorbed, growing up with a stay-at-home mum. And while that model worked beautifully for her family back then, it wasn’t aligned with what she wanted to model for her own kids.

When I asked her, “Do you still want to apply that belief today?”
Her answer was clear: No.
Because her work energises her. It helps her show up better at home. It’s part of who she is.

And in that moment... the guilt softened.

What Happens When You Make Peace With Your Choice

Now, when Sharon says,
“I can’t read to you tonight — I have to work,”
she says it with honesty, not inner conflict.

She’s congruent.
And that congruence allows her to be more present with her children in the moments they do share — not mentally split between guilt and to-do lists.

The truth is, our kids don’t need us every single minute.
They need us whole when we’re there.

Have you ever found yourself pulled between parenting and work — unsure how to release the guilt? I'd love to hear how you've made peace with your choices, or where you're still navigating this space. Message me and share.